Lebensratgeber
All of us are permanently traveling. There has never been an era in which humankind could travel and change location as fast as now. Someone who is planning to travel to a foreign country and does not know where and how this journey will end, would – in order to use his time abroad more efficiently – need a map, a city guide, and maybe a dictionary. With the help of these maps and guides, he would be able to find the places he wants to visit more easily and he would probably arrive there faster.
Just like in the foreign country, we are visiting this world for the first time and it is also a place in which we are foreigners. None of us knows how much time we have. If we consider life as a journey and ourselves as tourists, we also have to consider the fact that we do not know how long it will last. In this journey, our first guides are our parents.
The human body is unprotected and helpless against nature. The body of humankind has neither fur nor claws and it does not have wings to fly away from danger. A newborn needs nine months to start walking on its own feet and it certainly needs a much longer time to take care of itself, to fulfill its biological and physical needs, and to live all on its own. The period in which a person is most dependent is while he is a newborn. A newborn is dependent on a mother and father or other people to take on the role of parents and care for him, feed him, and protect him from every kind of danger. Given the fact that parents protect their child and fulfill his needs, is it not necessary that the child appreciates those who have been his first guides in life?
Looking at the lives of prophets, the first woman and man on earth, Adam and Hawa, were the first guides for humankind. When talking about mothers, the first name that will come to mind is Maryam. She raised a child and faced difficulties all by herself; she even lost the child. Imagine being a mother and how hard it must be for a mother to lose her child. When talking about fathers, the first person that will come to mind is the father of Ismail and Ishaq, Prophet Ibrahim. He became a father when he was quite old and he is an excellent example of what it takes to be a father. Prophet Yaqub’s interaction with his children is also a very good example of how to judge fairly as a father. The examples of the above mentioned holy personages and prophets show us that a child is educated as follows: mothers teach their children love and mercy, and fathers teach them justice and trust.
In nature, everything is created with specific balance. The term ‘balance’ here is the keyword. Not everything is created in the same way or equal but rather in a balanced way. For instance, if you cut an apple in half you do not have two identical halves but two complementary ones. This is also the case for our hands: they are not identical but they complement each other. Relationships also start with balance, apart from the relationship between a mother and her child, because a mother loves her child unconditionally and without expecting anything from the child.
If you want to see a miracle, you do not have to look far at all. One look at a mother is enough. Mothers can do several tasks at the same time. The presence of a mother can be seen by the fact that everything is in order in a home. Besides this, mothers are also the first teachers of their children.
A Turkish proverb says that fathers are like trees. They give you shelter and protect you. The best legacy a father can leave his child is the feeling of being protected. A father teaches his child how to be protective and trusted, but also how to be fair, since one cannot trust somebody who is not fair. Fathers do not usually show their love too openly. Of course, some fathers show their love very openly to their children, but this is rare. As it has already been mentioned above, fathers take on a protective role. Their protection becomes particularly visible when the family is confronted with a threat. His shadow alone provides protection for the entire family. Describing the feelings of a father when holding his child for the first time, Cengiz Aytmatov has written the following sentence: „Do you know Dogulang, what I am holding in my hands is not only a baby, it is my very own heart“.* The love parents show to their children is of great relevance, since it literally shapes the child’s character.
There is an important difference between parents who take care of their child and a child who takes care of his parents. While the former take care of the child with the thought that the child is going to grow up one day, the latter takes care with the thought that his parents will die one day. This difference shows very well how grateful one should be for the efforts of parents. Since parents show such sincere effort when raising their children, one can only wonder how some children do not show respect to their parents. They are the ones who most deserve love, mercy, kindness, and respect, since they are the life guides Allah has provided us with and who cannot be exchanged for anyone or anything.
*Cengiz Aytmatov
*Cengiz Han‘a küsen bulut- Cengiz Aytmatov
